unveilingthebeautywithin

So today i FINALLY found my scale!  It was in a box that had a bunch of random stuff in it.  I have been looking for it since last Thursday.  I am glad it still works!  It has been sitting in storage for over 2 years!  Sooooo we closed on our house last Wednesday and moved Wednesday.  My hubby tore our room apart an hour before we closed and then came straight home to start packing stuff up in the car!!!  It has been a crazy last few days but the house is starting to really come together!  Ill have to post some pics later.  I really have no excuse now.. i have a treadmill sitting in the spare bedroom.  Eating has been really bad lately.  Mostly frozen food so i don’t have to cook while the house is a total disaster and ive been unpacking all day.  I am really wanting to get back on track but severely lacking in motivation.  Its depressing to see in my appointment book that i wanted to weigh 155 by the end of June.  I guess breaking my foot didnt really help with that either.  Ugh!!!!!  One step at a time.. i will get there!

We finally found a house and was supposed to close last Friday but it has been pushed to this week.  I am going crazy with anticipation and stress.  I can’t wait to have my treadmill back which has been in storage for over 2 years!  I am excited to start back up on my running.  My foot has healed for the most part.  I can chase after my 2 year old around the house barefoot but i havent tried running in shoes yet.  I constantly think about losing weight and am conscious of everything i put in my mouth.  I don’t always make the best choices but all my old habits are still in place i just need to put them into action.  I am hoping this ginormous weight will drop off once we move in.  I don’t do well under pressure.  I WILL be back and SOON!

I can’t wait for July to get here.  By then i should be “back to normal” and hopefully be running again!  I am walking really good but actually going for a walk still takes a lot out of me.  We walked about a mile a few days ago and took a long break in the middle of it because my foot was hurting really bad.  I keep wanting to push myself but i don’t want to hurt it all over again.

 Diet has been so-so.  I havent been writing down everything im eating or really even counting my calories.  I am just eating in moderation and still maintaining!  I am really bad at juggling several things at once so my diet has kindof gone out the window.  We finally found a house and put a bid in and now are just waiting to get inspections done!  YAY!!  Closing date is June 12th.  I have been making tons and tons of phone calls about anything and everything.. latest is calling looking for good homeowners insurance.  I have always HATED making phone calls and i especially hate calling insurance companies because i am pretty clueless about it and then end up feeling dumb because i can’t answer all the questions they ask. 

A week ago a guy at my work backed into my car!  That is another thing i have been dealing with.. it seems like i can’t get off the phone this week.  At the moment my car is at the body shop and i am driving around a rental.  Luckily that was paid for by the guy that hit me!  Although today i am stranded because my husbands car wouldnt start so he had to take the rental.

Even reading over what i just wrote is stressing me out!!  I really need to learn how to juggle and NOT STRESS OUT!!!!!!  If there were a cure for excessive stressing/worrying i would be on board.

To..

Walk again

Run again

Be in our own house

Get my treadmill out of storage and run on it in our new house!

To actually find a house!

So far we are still on the hunt for OUR house.  We found one today that was perfect.  Completely updated with just about everything i would have picked.  Bad part of town though.. my best friends hubby has been with the Tulsa PD for 25 years so everytime we find something we like we send them the address to look up crime rates.  This perfect house was of course right in the middle of murder county.  Moving on.. :o(  I know that the right one will come along at some point.

Yesterday i got x-rays and they are perfect!  My bone is in one piece again so NO SURGERY!  The doctor said it would be July until im normal again.  That’s a bummer… so July or probably even August until i can start up my running again.  I wanted to run in the Tulsa Run and i think it is in September.  That doesent really leave me enough time to train for it and beat my own time from 10 years ago.  Ohh well.. i have next year!

The Biggest Loser tonight was so inspiring!  I really wanted Mike to win and Kristen to win the 100,000.  They all looked incredible though and by the end of the show i didnt really care who won.  I just loved seeing them all so happy!  That is how i hope to feel once i lose all my weight!!!

Today i am back to counting calories!  I will admit that i ate whatever was made for me yesterday. ;o)

Today i go and get x-rays to make sure my foot is healing right.  If not then i will have to get a pin put in it.  I am praying that is not the case.  SURGERY!!!  That’s worse then just having a broken foot.  Then i really won’t be able to take care of my 2 year old.  I doesent bother me hardly at all and i can walk on it pretty good barefoot.  It is a lot harder to walk with shoes on though.

Joey and I are waiting to hear back about a house we really like.  It has been on the market for over a year so we are trying to figure out why.  There was nothing right out that we are seeing wrong with it.  We probably find out today.  A little old lady owns it that lived there for 45 years and is now in a home.  I am trying to not get my hopes up about it.

I can’t wait to walk again and be in a new house!  We have our treadmill in storage that im dying to pull out and use!

No excuses here!  I know what i am doing wrong and that would be EVERYTHING!!  Man my life is making me dizzy, worn out, STRESSED out, etc, etc, etc.  My hubby and I are in the process of looking at houses to buy.  Our first home.. i am SO excited but at the same time terrified.  That is huge to take on.. we have lived with my parents for over 2 years and havent had to pay rent or anything.  I am just scared i guess.. i am also in the process of looking for a new job.  I am working at 3 diffrent Spa’s at the moment and barely getting paid squat.  With the economy and all people arnt rushing to the Spa to spend what money they do have.  I need something that i get paid by the hour not the client!!!

 Well, as i said NO EXCUSES!  I just need to chill out, get some energy, sleep, and motivation.

Finally i stuck to my calories.  I would like to lose 9 pounds this month!  Haha i am almost positive that won’t happen but my goal was to weigh 160 by the end of May.  Tomorrow is a new day and i plan on making very good choices!

This is why i have such a hard time sticking to my calories. I am so hungry! I go to bed hungry almost every night and right now i have already had dinner and am really hungry. This is when i usually give in and start snacking like crazy. I am trying to stick close to 1400 calories. Yesterday i had 1500 and went to bed feeling starving. Luckily at the moment i am at work and have eaten all the food i brought with me and the only thing to snack on is a bowl full of mints. I don’t know what to do!!!! I can’t do much during a workout still because of my broken foot. We went to the gym on Wednesday and did upper body but i am still very limited on what i can do. Everything has to be sitting down. I especially like workout days because i can eat more. I haven’t been losing so i am afraid to up the calories on non workout day. I may start going to 1600 a day instead and see if that helps the hunger.

I am still pretty confined to the house and am eating out of boredom and clausterphobia.  The last two days i have done really well until about 3pm.  Then it’s like i just don’t stop eating for the rest of the night.  Well, today i am NOT going to do that.  So far i am at 650 calories and i have eaten lunch.  Joey is taking me to the gym tonight to get in an upper body workout and he will probably kill me.  He is really good at pushing me.. he would make a good personal trainer.  I havent had a decent workout in weeks.  Dang broken foot.  Grr.  I can’t wait to drive again, walk again, run again.  Hopefully i can do the driving and walking within the next month. 

 Well i am back from Austin where my sister’s wedding was this last weekend.  Eating was off the charts bad.  I will be weighing in Friday to see if i gained.  Last weeks weigh in i maintained at 169!  I was very happy about that considering my broken foot.  Speaking of my foot thank you for everyone asking how i am doing and healing.  I am doing pretty good.  I can put pressure on it without the boot.  I can’t bend my foot yet but can walk very slowly and carefully.  I go to the Orthopaedist two weeks from today to get x-rays to see if it’s healing right.  If everything looks good i will be allowed to wear regular shoes whenever it feels comfortable enough.  I am dying to drive again and start walking to burn some calories!

Here are a few picture’s from my trip!  My profile picture is also from Austin but figured i didnt need to put it in this blog. 

Me and hubby

All my sisters and brothers.  This is pretty typical of us.  We are all insane.  Haha!

All of us again at the wedding