unveilingthebeautywithin

I have been sick since Monday with a sore throat, ears hurting, terrible headache, etc.  Then yesterday i got into a car accident on the way to work.  So i was at the ER last night for the wreck and then my doctor today for the sickness.. i found out i have ear infections in both ears and pharyngitis.  I havent been eating very much at all because it hurts to swallow or even talk.  The scale has been up though and i don’t know why!!!!!  Argh.. not that i enjoy feeling like crap but i was at least hoping that my eating of less calories would help me out a little.  My husband and I had a really great workout on Tuesday and then with the wreck Wednesday my ab’s have been killing me with spasams.  Luckily my legs are just fine but the rest of me is pretty bad and sore.  They gave me some meds to help but i still don’t think i will be working out until all my stiffness, soreness, and spasams go away.  Ugh i am just such a mess lately!!!!  I am just disappointed because im scared this is going to derail me from what i was wanting to work toward again.  I know i should just be thankful that my son and I are ok and not worry so much about keeping up with my workouts.  All i should think about now is rest, fluids, and vitamin C!

Grr… i ate over my calories and the second i did it i regreted it.  I was already at my max calories for the day and was really hungry.. so i ate some cereal, then some more cereal (no milk both times), and then a few mm’s.  So then i ended up doing a bunch of squats and lunges because i felt SO guilty!!  All i can say is thank you God that tomorrow is a new day and i can start all over again. :o)

I went a little over on calories yesterday but not by much.  I am doing good so far today!  I have already done my ab workout and am going walking after my son wakes up from his nap.  Mostly i am just struggling with being really hungry.  I know it takes awhile to get used to eating so much less.. i have done this before so i KNOW i can do it again!

Hmm what can i say??  I have just been very very bad.  I broke my foot back in April and ever since i have stopped working out and started eating whatever i want!!!  I weigh every few days to make sure im not screwing myself.  I have been averaging about 174 to 172.  I am happy that i havent gained much back but am getting REALLY sick of myself again.  I have started a new job at a preschool working with 2 year olds and am exhsausted.. i think i am getting more used to the stress and exhaustion and am ready to work on myself again.  I have been putting it off for way to long. :o( My husband has switched from the Marine Corps to the Army and will be leaving for his new job training early next year.  He has been working so hard on his running in the morning (he is getting up at 4:45am everyday), then going to the gym 3 times a week to do abs and upper body, and he is starting to count his calories.  I am very impressed and it is making me feel incredibly guilty!!!  He doesent need to lose much weight and mostly just wants to get back into shape.  So far today i have had 1515 calories and am DYING to eat more!!!  I WILL resist.  This is always the hardest part for me.. starting over and feeling hungry a lot. :oP No fun.. but no pain no gain. 

 Things i am looking to gain:

confidence

contentment

more energy

to look good in shorts

to look good in a batheing suit

to look good with nothing on. LOL!

to feel beautiful again

to be in better shape before i have another baby

Well.. here i go again.  No it’s not fun, but i got myself here, and am not giving up until i get myself out.  Noone is at fault but me but i like myself enough to try hard at getting the real me back.  Someone who is just happier and doesent worry and beat myself up about what i have done to get here.  Wish me luck! :o)