unveilingthebeautywithin

All i know is that ever since i broke my foot in April i just can’t seem to get back on track.  I obviously had to stop a lot of my regular workouts but i could have stuck to eating right.  I don’t know what is wrong with me and why i can’t just do it!  I can get back into running now and i have no excuse for not sticking to my calories.  Today i am doing good so far.. but it’s still 9:30am. :oP

I just can’t seem to get back on track.  I WANT it but i guess i don’t want it bad enough right now.  SO frusterating because i know i can do it.  I lost 36 pounds and i only want to lose about another 25-30.  I use food as comfort, a drug, my stress reliver.  I am very aware of it but still can’t seem to take control and just stop and start up my routine again.  I feel very lazy and beat myself up about it but still wont get my butt off the couch and workout!!!  Today i forced myself to do something and that something turned into 10 minutes on the treadmill half walking half jogging at a 5% incline.  I realize i am just hurting myself here and that i am in control of if i do it or not.  I just feel tired and don’t feel like doing anything.  Just GREAT especially when i want to lose weight.  :o( UGH!!!!  So tonight instead of snacking (which i almost always do) while watching tv i am chewing extra gum and absolutely not letting myself eat another bite.  My baby steps to success are the tiniest baby steps ive ever seen.  Is half trying tonight better then not trying at all?  That’s all im giving myself right now and it’s just sad.  I need to like me again and believe that i am worth it again!!!