unveilingthebeautywithin

My little Dillon. :o)

Me and my kiddo in Georgia!

I’m 24 today!!!  WOO HOO!  It’s actually kindof wierd.. i feel like im 19 still.  I am still in Georgia and having a good time!  We got in late Wednesday, Thursday we went and climbed a mountain that was a killer!  It was such a great workout especially because my son was being a pill and i had to carry him most of the way.  We had a great meal on Thanksgiving and i think it was the first year ever that i didnt overeat!  Friday we went shopping.. in OK you are pretty much insane to do that.  Everything is on one long street and you will sit in traffic for hours.  It was really fun here because everything is more spread out, and we got some really great deals on gifts!!  After we got back we had a fire outside and made s’mores!  YUM!  Yes i did eat two.. oh well.  I don’t think i had eaten one in 5 years!!  Later that evening we watched White Christmas and watched my brother in law decorate the tree.  We were all being lazy.  Hehe.  Today we don’t have plans yet, but im sure today will turn out to be another great day! 

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!  I am anxious to get on the scale again once i get home.  Im sure it will all work out ok.. i hope!

So far so good!!  I have eaten my breakfast and lunch, both just right with no overeating! 

I am leaving in 8 hours for GA so no workout today.  I also woke up feeling terrible.  Really bad sore throat, headache, ear ache.. not cool.  Ive been downing EmergenC and tea with honey.  I really don’t want to be sick on my trip.  Last week i thought i might be coming down with a sinus infection.. im just not sure and hate going to the doctor when it turns out to be nothing.  Of course i don’t have time to go to the doctor now.  I’m sure ill be fine, and a lot of it has to do with the weather here.  It’s freezing one day, then the next it’s nice and warm.  That’s OK weather for ya! 

Have a great Thanksgiving Buddies!!

I don’t know what the deal is but i am just extra hungry.  I ate four meals today.  I know normally eating several small meals a day is great, but they werent that small.  Breakfast i only ate about a 1/2 cup of cereal, no milk, the next two were like a lunch so just small to mid sized, then the fourth was an actual dinner with chicken, veggies, and roll.  Oops.. Well, i have been keeping up with my workouts, just not doing great with the food.  I know everyone has up’s and down’s, so im just calling this a down week.  Oh well, i know that i can pick myself back up and it’s not the end of the world! 

I am leaving for Georgia in about 23 hours!  My sister is flying in from TX and then we (me, my sister, two brothers, and son) are driving straight to GA.  We are going to try at least.. we figured that it would be best to do a chunk of the driving while my son is sleeping so he’s not whiney the whole time.  I am feeling so anxious about the drive.. im not crazy about road trips, and i have never taken my son on one any longer then 3 hours.  Hopefully this all works out!  I get so stressed about being cramped in a car, and then worry about keeping him happy.  Ohh but i am so looking forward to seeing my two older sisters and the 6 siblings will be together!  It has been 2 1/2 years since we have all been together at the same time!  My Birthday is on Saturday so everyone will still be there except one of my sisters. It’s usually just my parents and brothers so that will be fun to actually have most of my siblings there! 

If i don’t get a chance to post again before i head out tomorrow HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! :o)

I am Thankful for Family!  Here is a picture of my crazy family taken in May 2006.

..and now i am paying for it!  I just feel awful and my stomach hurts!  I felt so guilty after eating to much of something i shouldnt have eaten in the first place, i decided to do a workout at home because my gym was already closed for the day.  I got the workout in and it kicked my butt!  That’s what i get.. i had to punish myself in some way.  Of course i know that doing the workout will hopefully help me not gain so it will be more of a reward instead of a punishment.. but man it burned!

Today we had a little outing to the park down the street.  It was chilly but we stayed warm with our coats and hats on!  Ohh i just love fall!  Here is a picture of my little man.

Every Thursday i drive my son 30 minutes to my in laws to stay for the day.  We started this when my husband was in Iraq and i desperately needed a break.  I so look forward to Thursdays where i can do whatever i want!!  Right at first i started going to movies because i was soo behind on all the ones i had wanted to see!  Then it turned into shopping days, or getting a mani/pedi, then i would sometimes rent a few movies, get some lunch, and head home to watch movies in bed all day!  Ahhhh.. nice!  Today i had to get an oil change, and go to the dentist for a few fillings that are actually the last in my long, long line of never ending cavities!! (Nancy you made me laugh at your comment!  I think i made it sound like all my teeth are rotting in my mouth.  Hahaha!  My dentist told me i have such terrible luck is because im deficient in a vitamin.  Bummer!).  After the dentist i was feeling pretty good.. compared to how i usually feel while leaving the dentist!  I met up with my two good friends who happened to also be kid-less!!  We spent almost 3 hours at the mall and Super Target Christmas shopping and hanging out.  It was nice!!  It is great to have some adult time sometimes without having to deal with the whining and all the other fun things Mom’s deal with when you are out shopping!!

 My eating today was ok.. again.  Still not a great day.  I did good at not snacking at all!!  I ate a late dinner from getting home so late picking up my son so i feel like i scarfed it down.  Whew.. hopefully tomorrow will be a slow day and i can get myself to the gym!  I have only gone once this week.  I usually go Mon, Wed, Fri, but my Dad had his surgery Wed morning so i didnt go.  Speaking of Dad, he is home and doing well!!  He is up and moving around, and doing his school work (he is working on his second Masters).  I am hoping things will calm down here soon so i can just get my butt back on track!!  But with my Trip next week, Thanksgiving, and then Christmas, i am afraid that i wont be as easy as it sounds.  In GA i am going to try and take walks since i wont be going to the gym.  Hopefully it’s not freezing there!! 

Today has been such a long day.  My Dad had his surgery this morning and i was running around all day doing errands and then having to pick up my brothers from school, go to the hospital, get them dinner, make my family dinner, etc, etc, etc.  It felt like it lasted forever.  My son only got a 45 min nap so he was cranky on top of everything.. ohh man i am so looking forward to bed here in a few minutes!!  My Dad’s surgery went well and when we got the the hospital he was sitting up talking and laughing!  That made me feel soo much better!  Im still not sure when he gets to come home or gets to go back to work.. im just happy everything went well and am glad that this was discovered now instead of to later or to late.  Tomorrow is another busy day with having to run fun errands like getting an oil change, and going to the dentist for hopefully my last 2 fillings.  I have the worst teeth in the entire world and feel like every single one of them has a filling (which i may not be wrong.. almost all of them except for the front teeth :o/) and am SO ready to not have to go to the dentist every few weeks.  I still have a few crowns i have to get taken care of and of course that it a blast!  NOT!!  Those are 10 times worse then a filling! 

 My eating was so so today.. i know i over ate a little.. that is my number one problem.  Portion control!  I have been so crazy busy and stressed and for some stupid reason i just put myself on the bottom of my list. :o/  I am taking a trip next week to be with my sister over Thanksgiving, and even though it is a 13 hour drive with a 20 month old i am still hoping i can just relax a little, and just spend a little time with my sister whom i was always really close to until she moved away.  I just need a little break from reality and life.  I just want to get back on track.  Ohh i am so looking forward to GA!!!  It is so pretty there (compared to OK!) and they have a beautiful view that is actually their backyard!  I just love sitting outside and breathing in the fresh air and just taking it all in.  I will be posting pics when i get back!!  Goodnight. :oO

Long story short.  My Dad found out today that he has been having silent heart attacks.  This morning (because it is now Wed here) he is having surgery to have a defibrillator put into his chest so then when he has another heart attack it will basically shock him back to life.  Im am sick to my stomach with worry and am ready to clean out the fridge because i am a major stress/anxiety/worry eater.  As my Mom was driving home from the hospital because my Dad is staying overnight and she needed to come home and get some sleep, she was in a car accident.  Her 3rd one this year.  She is ok, and it was not her fault.  Even though i have not been involved in any of the wrecks this year, i still feel the stress from it.  I live with my parents and hear and know everything and i hate that they have such a rough time.  On top of that my own little family isnt doing so great either.  I know that God is in control, and that everything happens for a reason.  I am still scared and i still worry.. I know i just need to hand it over to Him.  I keep thinking things will get better, things will change, but i feel tested past my limit.  I think this is why lately i have struggled so much with my weight loss.. i have a hard time letting go of all the stress and worry around me.  Please, if any of you out there pray, i ask that you would pray for my Dad that he would get through surgery and heal quickly, and that things would start to come together, and fall in place for the rest of my family who have been struggling so much.

 Sorry this wasnt so much about weight loss, but im just really hoping that some of you will pray for my Dad, and that everything will be ok.  I just cant bare the thought of….. you know. :o(  I know its a pretty basic procedure, but there are risks, and it’s scary in itself that he was having these heart attacks in the first place.

A picture of a lot of my family minus my husband, son, and I because we couldnt make it on this trip :o( My Dad is on the far right.

 My Dad and Mom. 

Why is it so easy to give up but so hard to stick to something?  I just hate that and hate that i let myself get that way.  Right now im sure some of it has to do with being a woman and the fun things we get to deal with monthly :o/.  Blehh… i am still going to the gym this morning.  I know it will make me feel better and not so gross.  I didnt get to the gym yesterday because my ankle was killing me Sunday night and still a little yesterday morning so i decided it would probably be a good idea to not go and not break it or re-sprain it all over again!  LOL.. ok i am off to the gym and going to kick my own butt and do good today with my eating!  I just turn into a junk food junkie (or a wanna be junk food junkie and go crazy if i dont get it) during this time.

That is who i have been the last few days.  I don’t know what has happened???  I have been busy with life, stressed out, at a friends house for dinner and made tons of yummy food and 2 desserts!!!!  Eating whatever and however much i want feels good.. temporarily.  I did good tonight at my friends house and didnt overeat when everyone else was saying they didnt want to eat for a WEEK!  Haha.. Whew, tomorrow is Monday, the start of a new week.  Gym first thing and hopefully the scale will still be in the same place as it was last week and hasent gone up. :o/ New week, new day, starting over, I CAN DO IT!  WE CAN DO IT BUDDIES!

No matter how many buddies i have on here, or how many people at home i have supporting me, and encouraging me, noone can force me to lose this weight but ME!  I love having this site to come onto everyday and have people there to lean on.. but in the end, when we are sitting at home alone and you have to make the chioce of, am i going to eat this or that, am i going to work out or not?  All of it is really up to YOU!  You have to find that strength inside of you, and make yourself believe that YOU are worth it!!  It’s something that i do often forget.. we all deserve to be happy, I deserve to be happy and so that is why i am doing this.  I am keeping at this for me, because i deserve it, and i WANT it!

 Keep up the good work buddies!!! :o)